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TOPIC TODAY: Are Your Children Tourists in Their Own history? Are you raising kids who can navigate Lagos, London Abuja, but get lost in their own father's village? ​Is your culture a "costume" you wear for festivals, or is it the soul of your home? ​The Big Question: When your children are adults, will they have a community to lean on, or just a digital profile to reference or to hide behind?

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 The Scene : The group has gathered at Ola’s housetoday. In the living room, Ola’s kids are glued to a tablet, laughing at a YouTuber with a thick American accent. Outside, the usual noise of the neighbourhood - Lagos’ rhythmic chaos - continues, but inside, the air feels like a different continent. ​Ola looks at his son and asks a question in his native tongue. The boy looks up, blinks, and replies in perfect, polished English: "Sorry, Dad, can you say that again?" ​Elder Ephraim sighs, his hand resting on his cane. "You see, he said, "We are building beautiful houses, Ola, but we are raising strangers under the roof." Ofspring we are raising are turning out to be a community of sociocultural Aliens." ​The Play Summary: The Thinning Social Cord: ​A "Community Alien" is someone who looks like their ancestors but thinks, speaks, and dreams in a language and culture that is entirely foreign to their roots. In the rush toward globalisation and urban...
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TOPIC TODAY: Digital Addiction with Parents glued to screens and raising raise copycats. ​Are you using your phone to "relax" or to escape your family? ​Can you go a whole dinner without checking a single notification?• ​The Big Question: If your child grows up to be a "digital copy" of you today, would you be happy with who they are?

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The scene at Ola's house is quieter than usual, but not because the group are tired. Everyone, including Ola is staring at their phone, scrolling "news" they won't remember in five minutes. Across from him, Ola's teenage son is doing the exact same thing. They haven't spoken in twenty minutes. ​Nne walks by and taps the table. "Ola, are you waiting for a call from the President, or is that phone just part of your hand now?" ​Ola looks up, dazed. "I'm just checking something quickly," he mutters. ​"You've been 'checking' for half an hour," Nne retorts. "And look at your boy. He’s not even eating his suya; he’s feeding his eyes on social media postings. You’re not raising a son; you’re raising a mirror." ​Summary : The Dopamine Mirror ​Digital addiction isn't just a "kids' problem" - it’s a family ecosystem issue. While we worry about our children becoming "screen-heads," we...
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TOPIC TODAY: Can Parents Say Sorry, as teaching their kids accountability, not weakness. Is Your Ego More Important Than Your Bond? When was the last time you were clearly in the wrong with your child? Did you ignore it hoping they’d "forget," or did you use it as a teaching moment? The Big Question: If you want your child to grow up to be a person of integrity, are you willing to show them what integrity looks like when it's wearing a "Sorry" sign?

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The overhead fan at Evking’s Bar is clicking rhythmically, almost like a metronome for the heated debate at the corner table. Ola is leaning back, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. "Say sorry to my son?" he asks, incredulous. "If I apologize every time I lose my temper, he’ll think I’m his mate. A father’s authority is based on being the pillar. If the pillar says it’s sorry, the whole house shakes!" ​Nne shakes her head, smiling sadly. "Ola, the house isn't shaking because you apologized. It’s shaking because you screamed and slammed the door. The apology is the only thing that puts the bricks back together. If you don't say sorry, all he learns is that power means never having to admit you're wrong." ​ The Lead: Authority is Not Infallibility ​The "Old School" African parenting model often treats the parent as a semi-divine figure who can do no wrong. In this world, an apology is seen as a surrender of power. But the mode...
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TOPIC TODAY: Do you let your son "roam" while your daughter "serves"? Are you teaching your son that his sister is his equal or his assistant? The Big Question: If your daughter has the same talents as your son, why should she have half the freedom to use them?

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Play Opening: The evening at Evking’s Bar has taken a serious turn. Oluebube, the bar owner's daughter is standing by the counter, her voice trembling with a mix of tired laughter and genuine anger. "My brother finished his food at home sometimes," she tells the group, "and he just sat there, looking at his empty plate, then looking at me. He expects me to help him pick it and wash. While goes to spent the whole day roaming the streets with his friends, and I spent the whole day cleaning. Why is his freedom a right, but mine is a chore?" ​Ola shrugs, looking a bit uncomfortable. "Ebube, it’s just how things are. A boy needs to see the world to become a man. A girl needs to know the home to become a wife. We keep you inside to keep you safe." ​Nne slams her hand lightly on the table. "Safe? Ola, look at the numbers. We 'keep them in,' yet girls are twice as likely to get HIV and five times more likely to die in childbirth before twenty....
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TOPIC TODAY: Is your child "well-behaved" because they are happy, or because they are managing your emotions for you? Are you venting to your kids because you lack an adult support system? The Big Question: If you looked into your child’s eyes and saw the stress of a 40-year-old, would you still think you’re "preparing them for the real world"?

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The rain has slowed to a drizzle outside Ola's house where the Dynamic Group is gathered. Inside, the atmosphere is heavy. Ola is in mid-sentence, loudly venting about a "useless" business partner and a mountain of unpaid electricity bills. His 8-year-old daughter is sitting nearby, her eyes wide, tracing the patterns on the table. She isn't playing; she’s listening to the frequency of his panic. ​Nne taps Ola on the shoulder. "Ola, look at her. She’s already calculating how much rice that bill could buy. You aren't raising a child right now; you’re recruiting a CFO for your problems. She’s eight, but her brain is already forty." ​ The Lead: The Theft of Time ​We often praise children for being "so mature for their age," but in many homes, that maturity isn't a gift - it’s a survival tactic. When children are drafted into the "infantry" of adult warfare (money issues and stress, marital fights, and family gossip), they undergo...
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TOPIC TODAY: When you shout at your child, are you trying to help the child or just vent your own stress? ​Does your child respect you because they admire you, or because they fear you?​The Big Question: If your child spoke to you the way you speak to them when you’re angry, would you call it "disrespectful"?

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The debate at Evakings Bar today is louder than usual. Ola just finished a story about his son "refusing to listen" until he "roared like a lion." He looks around for high-fives, but Jide is just shaking his head while Jennifer, the psychologist, is already sketching something on a napkin. ​"Ola," Jide says, "you think you’re being a lion, but to that boy's brain, you’re a thunderstorm. He didn't 'listen'; he just went into survival mode. You're building a house on a foundation of cortisol, not character." ​The Lead: The Architecture of the Atmosphere ​Parenting isn't just about getting a child to "stop" a behaviour; it’s about what you build inside them while they are stopping. Communication styles act as a biological blueprint. Shouting creates a "survival" brain - high in anxiety and quick to flee. Conversations create a "safety" brain - wired for logic and emotional regulation. In a world ...
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TOPIC TODAY: Are You a Parent or a Creditor? Are you using your past sacrifices to hijack your child’s future dreams?​ The Big Question: If your child didn't give you a single Naira this year, would you still be proud of the person they’ve become?

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The fan at Evking’s Bar is fighting a losing battle against the afternoon heat. Ola is staring at a bank alert on his phone, his face a mask of frustration. "I sent this boy to the best private school in Lagos," he grumbles to the group. "I sacrificed my own comfort, wore the same shoes for three years, and now he’s telling me he wants to 'reinvest' his bonus into a startup instead of sending it home for the new roof. Is this the thanks I get? After all I’ve done?" ​Jide sets his glass down with a soft clink . "Ola, are you describing a son or a high-yield savings account?" ​ The Lead: The "Black Tax" vs. The "Love Gift" ​In many African homes, the line between parental sacrifice and a business loan has become dangerously blurred. We’ve inherited a generational mindset where children are viewed as "social security" or retirement plans. While the culture of communal support is beautiful, it turns toxic when love is ...
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TOPIC TODAY: Are you teaching your children to be "polite" at the expense of being safe?​ When was the last time you asked your child, "Is it okay if I give you a hug?" to model the behavior you want them to expect from others?​ The Big Question: If you don't teach your child that they have the right to say "No" to you, how will they ever find the courage to say "No" to the world?

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The generator at Evking’s Bar is silent for once, but the air is electric. Ola is looking genuinely flustered. "Listen," he says, gesturing with a chicken wing, "if my sister comes to visit and my 4-year-old son refuses to give her a hug, and I let him get away with it, my mother will call me from the village to ask if I’ve lost my mind. In our culture, 'respect' means you do what the elder asks. Now you're telling me he has to 'consent' to a hug?" ​Nne leans back, a sharp glint in her eye. "Ola, that's exactly how the trouble starts. We teach them that their 'No' doesn't matter if the person is older or 'family.' Then, when a stranger or a bad actor comes along, the child has already been trained to ignore their gut feeling just to be 'polite.'" ​ The Lead: The "Politeness" Trap ​In many African homes, the concept of Consent is often seen as a foreign, "disrespectful" import. We ...
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TOPIC TODAY: Is Your Home a Classroom or a Mirror? If your child grew up to be exactly like you are behind closed doors, would you be proud or terrified?​ Are you using "religion" as a shield to avoid the hard work of personal integrity?​ The Big Question: What is one value you’ve been "outsourcing" that you need to start modeling at the breakfast table tomorrow morning?

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The Sunday evening vibe at Evking’s Bar is a bit tense. Ola is nursing a cold malt, looking bewildered. "I don’t understand it," he grumbles. "The boy is in the choir. He attends every youth retreat. I pay for every church camp. Yet, this morning, I caught him lying to my face about where he was last night. What are they even teaching them in that church?" ​Nne leans over, swirling the ice in her glass. "Ola, the church has him for two hours on Sunday. You have him for the other 166 hours of the week. You’re expecting a weekly seminar to fix a daily environment." ​ The Lead: The "Spiritual Service Center" Myth ​Modern parenting has fallen into a dangerous trap: treating the church or school like a "character mechanic." We drop our children off, hoping a professional will "fix" their morality, while the home remains a place where those same values are discussed but rarely lived. Research is blunt: the home is the primary ...
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TOPIC TODAY: Are You Guarding Their Safety or Smothering Their Soul? ​In a one-room home, do you find ways to give your child mental privacy (not prying into every thought)?Do you realize that your child’s digital footprint - created today - could affect their job or reputation in 2040? The Big Question: If privacy is an "enabler of dignity," are we denying our children dignity simply because we lack "space"?

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The rain has finally stopped outside Evking’s Bar , but a new debate has sparked over a bowl of nkwobi. Ola is laughing, shaking his head at a news report about "Child Privacy Laws." ​"Privacy?" Ola chuckles. "In my father’s house, we were eight in one room. If you wanted 'privacy,' you went to the backyard to fetch water. In the ghetto or the village, 'privacy' is a word for people with mansions in Maitama, Abuja. For the rest of us, life is communal." ​ The Lead: The "Invisible Wall" in a One-Room World ​In the African context, physical privacy has long been viewed as a luxury of the elite or a "Western import." Our philosophy of Ubuntu ("I am because we are") naturally prioritizes the collective over the individual. However, we are currently witnessing a massive collision: the traditional communal lifestyle is meeting the digital age. Even a child living in a "face-me-I-face-you" apartment now ...
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TOPIC TODAY: Are You a Parent or a Sound-Proofer?​: Are you ignoring your child’s "noise" because you want a "comfortable" life, or because you truly believe they are fine?If your child is "quiet," is it because they are peaceful or because they have given up on you as a source of comfort?The Big Question: Would you rather have a "successful" child with a "perfect" reputation, or a healthy child who actually wants to be alive at adulthood?

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The generator at Evking’s Bar is humming a low, steady tune, but inside, the air is thick with a different kind of tension. Ola is showing everyone a picture of his nephew, who just won a math competition. "The boy is a star," Ola beams. "Never complains, never makes trouble. He’s always very 'quiet' - the best kind of child." ​Nne looks up from her drink, her expression unreadable. "Quiet isn't always 'good,' Ola. Sometimes quiet is just a child learning how to scream without making a sound so they don't 'disturb the guests.'" ​ The Lead: The "Angst" Alibi ​We live in a world where parents are often more concerned with the noise a child makes than the pain they feel. We mistake clinical depression for "teenage angst" and panic attacks for "attention-seeking." By the time many parents acknowledge a mental health issue, the "tire tread" of the child’s resilience has already worn t...
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TOPIC TODAY: Is Your Home a Factory or a Garden? ​Are you training your son to be a "King" who can't feed himself, or a Man who is a partner in bis home? ​Does your daughter know she is a Person first, and a "potential wife" second? ​The Big Question: If you treated your son and daughter exactly the same for one week - same chores, same praise, same investment - what would change in your family's "mental growth"?

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The clinking of glasses at Elder Ephraim's garden is interrupted by a sharp laugh from Nne. Ola has just complained that his teenage daughter’s Jollof rice was "too salty," followed by a comment that "no man will marry a woman who can’t season a pot." Meanwhile, while the daughter cooked, his son sat at the dinning table, shouting at a football match on his phone, oblivious to hus sister's works in the kitchen. ​ The Lead: The Domestic Double Standard ​In many homes, "training" is a gendered term. Daughters are enrolled in an unpaid, lifelong internship for marriage, while sons are granted a "scholarship" of leisure. We call it tradition, but science calls it Developmental Sabotage . When we excuse sons from chores, we don't make them "men"; we make them domestically disabled. When we tell daughters to "sit well" or "cook better" because of their gender, we tell them their value is performative. Real e...
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THE TOPIC TODAY: Are You Protecting your children or Leaving Them in the Dark? ​Does your child see the "Repair," or only the "Rupture"? If you hide your conflicts, are you teaching your child that disagreement is shameful or dangerous? ​The Big Question: Would you rather your child see a "Perfect" lie or an "Imperfect" truth that shows them how to forgive and move forward?

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The mood at Evking’s Bar is heavy as the rain beats against the windows. Ola is nursing a drink, looking particularly exhausted. "We had another 'cold war' last night," he sighs. "We didn't shout - we’re careful never to fight in front of the kids - but the silence in the house was so thick you could cut it with a knife. My daughter didn't even finish her dinner; she just went to her room." ​ The Lead: The "Silent Treatment" Trap ​Many parents believe that hiding conflict is an act of protecting their children. We think that if the children don't hear the shouting, they aren't being harmed. However, research suggests the opposite: children are emotional barometers, not just sponges. They sense the "lingering tension" and the "negative emotional aftermath" even when words are withheld. When we hide conflict entirely, we deny children the chance to see reconciliation in action . They don't learn how to han...
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