Segun Ozique

SCENE: Evking’s Bar, Ikeja. The sound of clinking glasses is drowned out by the news anchor’s voice. ​ JIDE: Look at that. A Russian-flagged ship seized on the high seas, the President of Venezuela snatched from his own palace, and now Greenland is on the "shopping list." If this were a movie, we’d say it’s too far-fetched. But this is 2026, and US, acting as the  "World Police" just took off it's badge and put on a crown. ​ BISOLA: It’s a legal nightmare, Jide. We are looking at a total disregard for Article 2(4) of the UN Charter , which strictly prohibits the threat or use of force against the territorial integrity or political independence of any state.  When the most powerful nation on earth treats international law like a Terms of Service agreement they can just "skip," the entire framework of global peace evaporates. ​ [03] OLA: But Bisola, isn't this just the reality? The UN has been toothless for years. Trump is just saying out loud...

SCENE: Jide’s living room. Bisola, a lawyer is visiting and join the conversation by opening a folder full of case files as part of her contribution to the conversation. ​ BISOLA (Voice steady but heavy): ​You want the truth? Statistics suggest that 1 in 4 Nigerian women have experienced some form of sexual violence before the age of 18. While people say "it happens every few minutes," the real tragedy is that we don't even know the true number. Why? Because less than 10% of cases are ever reported. ​ JIDE : ​1 in 4? That’s a quarter of the female population! Why is the silence so loud? ​ NNE (Scoffing): ​Because of who we have to report to, Jide! You walk into a police station trembling, and you’re met by a desk full of male officers who look at you like you are the criminal. They ask: "What were you wearing?" or "Why were you there at 10 PM?" They don't see a victim; they see a girl who "asked for it." ​ BISOLA : ​Nne is...

SCENE:  Still at Jide’s parlor. Jide drops the phone he has been reading from on the table, looking at the ceiling refectively. ​ JIDE : ​I have just finished reading the International Law on religious freedom. It says everyone has the right to hold, change, or even reject any belief without interference. But look at us these days. In practically every homes, "Freedom" feels like a suggestion, not a right. If it’s not State-level interference, it’s in your home, the penticostals, Boko Haram or ISWAP waiting to make your life miserable or even end your life because you don't pray like them. ​ ELDER EPHRAIM (Sighing): ​It wasn't always this bitter. We used to pray privately, encouraging each other as well as celebrate together. Now, religion has become a "Hydra-headed" monster. Under the guise of the Cross or the Crescent - and even the white supremacy of groups like the KKK have turned God into a reason to be heartless. ​ NNE : ​And it’s not just th...

​ SCENE:  Still in Jide’s house. The group is snacking on plantain chips. Jide drops the latest "gist JIDE : ​So, a friend of mine got a text from his female "pal." She said, "Come meet me at "Sunny Spot" in Victoria Island, let's have some grilled fish and drinks." Just the two of them. His girlfriend saw the text and went nuclear. ​ OLA : ​Standard. No woman wants her man "eating fish" alone with another woman. It’s a date in disguise. ​ JIDE (Smiling): ​Wait, it gets better. She didn't just say "Don't go." She asked, "Why did she invite you and not both of us?" Then she made a move: "Stay at home. I will buy you double the fish and double the drinks she was going to buy. Anything you want out there, I have more of it here." ​ NNE : ​Energy! That’s a "Boss Move." She’s not just crying; she’s outbidding the competition. She’s saying, "I am more resourceful, more loaded, ...

SCENE: Jide’s living room. Jide is pacing. ​ JIDE (Voice trembling): ​I like her. Infact, I love her. I really do. But guys, my head is a mess. One minute I think lovingly about her, the next minute I’m obsessing over the way she drinks, things she says  - wondering, is it a mental issue? Does it mean she cannot control herself? Then I start doubting the love or if we over extending infatuation. It’s like a song I can’t stop playing in my head. ​ OLA (Scoffing): ​Jide, you’re just bored. If you had more work to do, you wouldn't have time to check if a girl’s habit is "mindset or not" This is just overthinking. Be a man and decide: are you in or out? ​ JENNIFER : ​It’s not that simple, Ola. What Jide is describing is a Compulsive Obsession . It’s often called ROCD . It’s a mental loop where your brain treats a minor flaw like a life-or-death emergency. The "doubts" aren't based on reality; they are irrational, persistent urges that cause massive a...

SCENE: Jide’s parlor. Jide puts his phone on the table. ​ JIDE : ​I met a girl on social media few months back. Within minutes, we were on WhatsApp. Within the hour, the script started: “My rent is due,” “Everything is hard,” “I just need a helper.” Then followed the pet names—"Dear," "honey," "My husband," "My King" - all within few meetings. It wasn't a courtship; it was like a marketing or PR pitch. ​ OLA (Drinking a cold malt): ​Jide, that’s the Lagos "Standard Operating Procedure." Men call it “helping,” girls call it "cruising," or “vibing,” and the internet calls it “Soft Life.” But let’s call it what it is: survival. In a city where rent is 1.5 million, and salary is 150k, the math doesn't add up without "intimacy tax." ​ NNE : ​But it’s not just about the money, Ola. It’s the pressure to "have a man." Even if he’s seventy, geriatric, and you don't like his breath, having a ...

SCENE: Jide’s House. The sun is setting. ​ JIDE (Looking at the group): ​I was thinking about how much we brag about "Self-Made" success. But if you look at it, your birth was handled by others. Your name was given by others. Your first bath was done by others. And when you leave earth, your last bath will be done by others. ​ NNE (Sipping juice): ​Omo, that’s dark for a Friday. But true. We spend practically all our time building "Main Character Energy," forgetting that we can’t even bury ourselves. ​ JENNIFER : ​It goes deeper. Think about your "priced possessions." All you have fought others over, including your riches... the moment you are pronounced dead, they aren't yours. They are "shared by others." Your funeral, your grave, the casket—all carried by others. ​ OLA (Grumbling): ​So what? Because I’m going to die, I shouldn't own things? Or, should just let people walk over me? ​ ELDER EPHRAIM (Leaning forward): ...

SCENE: Nne is sitting on a stool, mimicking the way a Pastor holds a microphone. ​ NNE : ​You guys should have seen the "show" last night. The General Overseer (GO) was doling out cash and gifts like a politician at a rally! He sat back while his disciples spent an hour bragging about how the GO "ended poverty" for people in 2025, fixed broken homes and marriages, and as well as found husbands for girls and young men both home and overseas. They were shouting, "He is a miracle worker!"   OLA (Scoffing): Fixed poverty? With what? A 100,000 Naira note and a bag of rice? That’s not a miracle; that’s a "PR stunt." While he’s bragging about his "handiwork," I bet his members are the ones paying for his private jet, paying children's school fees, feeding and sustaining him ​ NNE : ​That’s the crazy part, Ola. While the bragging went on, I looked around. I saw singles who have been "waiting on God" for years. I saw mothe...

SCENE: As the clock ticks toward midnight. A preacher on TV is shouting, "In 2026, you shall sin no more! You shall be Christlike! You shall be a better person!" ​JIDE (Reaches over and switches the TV to another channel): ​Jesus, who actually cares? If I hear one more "wish list" for 2026, I’m going to scream. Every year it’s the same thing: “I’ll be better, I’ll pray more, I’ll stop this, I’ll start that.” Then December 31st comes back, and we realise we are the exact same people. ​ELDER EPHRAIM (Frowning): ​Jide! That is the language of a man without hope. We must aim for perfection. If we don’t try to be better in the New Year, what are we? ​JENNIFER: ​Actually, Elder, Jide has a point. It’s a Cycle of False Hope. We spend the first week of January pretending we are saints, and by February, we are back to our old habits. At the end of 2026, we will stand here again, making the same list of "No Sins" for 2027. It’s a treadmill. ​NNE: ​Exactly. And let’s...

SCENE: Evakings Bar. 8:00 PM. The music is loud. Nne is showing everyone a video of a famous influencer who just crashed an expensive car while partying. ​NNE (Shrugging): ​Honestly, I don't blame him. People are dragging him for "reckless living," but life is short! Tomorrow you could wake up with a stroke or a sickness that stops you from ever dancing again. Why not take the risk now? ​ OLA (Scoffing): ​Because "now" is the reason he’s in the hospital! You call it "living for the moment," I call it being a fool. You are actively digging the grave you are afraid of falling into. ​ ELDER EPHRAIM (Tapping his walking stick): ​In my youth, we referred to this as "madness." Now you children call it a "vibe." If you spend your strength on addiction and "risky fun" because you fear the future, you are making sure the future will be miserable. You are creating the very tragedy you say you want to avoid. ​ NNE: ​But Elder, be rea...

SCENE: Evakings Bar. The door opens. A lady walks in alone. She is dressed neatly but simply. She doesn't look around for anyone. She sits at a table, orders a drink and a plate of pepper soup, and starts scrolling through her phone with a small smile. ​ELDER EPHRAIM (Adjusting his glasses, whispering loudly): ​Ha! What is this world coming to? Look at that girl. Sitting there all by herself in a public bar. No husband, no brother, no boyfriend. In my day, a virtuous woman wouldn't even be seen near the door of a bar alone. It looks... suspicious. ​OLA (Nodding): ​I’m with you, Elder. A woman sitting alone in a place like this is usually waiting for someone. If she stays too long, people will start thinking she is one of those "umbrella traders" Jide told us about. It’s not "safe" for her reputation. ​ NNE (Rolling her eyes): ​Oh, please! Look at her. She’s not waiting for anyone. She’s vibing! She’s hungry, she wants a drink, and she’s enjoying her own comp...

SCENE: Evakings Bar. A couple at a corner table is in a "Cold War." The woman is shouting and tapping her phone, but the man is just staring at his drink, saying nothing. ​ OLA (Looking at the couple): ​Look at that guy. He’s just sitting there like a statue while she’s pouring fire on him. That’s a weakness. If someone provokes you, you speak up! Silence just makes the other person think they’ve won. ​NNE (Shaking her head): ​Actually, Ola, sometimes silence is Toxic. We call it "Stonewalling." It’s a way to punish the other person without saying a word. But sometimes, it’s the only way to keep your sanity when someone is trying to "drag you into the gutter." ​ JENNIFER (Adjusting her glasses): ​There is a strategy called the "Grey Rock Method." When someone is trying to provoke you or get a reaction out of you to feed their ego, you become like a "Grey Rock" - boring, silent, and unresponsive. You don't give them the "fuel...

SCENE:  A Bar in Ikeja. A video of a shouting match in the news is playing on the TV. ​ OLA (Pacing as he watched the TV): ​I hate this! Why is it that when you tell someone the truth about their bad behavior, they start talking about your past? If I say you stole money, tell me if you stole it or not! Don't tell me I’m "disrespectful" or "too loud." ​ JENNIFER (Nodding): ​There is a reason for that, Ola. In logic, we call it an "Ad Hominem" attack. It means "attacking the person." When someone cannot defend their actions, they try to destroy your credibility . They want to make you look like the "bad person" so tha main issue is forgotten or muddled. ​ AMARA (Pointing at the TV): ​Exactly. Look at what happened with Senator Natasha in the National Assembly. When she brought up serious facts and accused the leadership of doing wrong, they didn't answer her with facts. Instead, the Senate President and others tried t...

SCENE: Late afternoon. Everyone is relaxed. Jide leans forward, looking more thoughtful than usual. ​JIDE (Quietly): ​I tried something different on a date recently. She said something that really offended me. Usually, I would get angry or go cold. But this time, I chose curiosity instead of anger. ​OLA (Laughing): ​Curiosity? Jide, if a woman offends me, I don't need to be "curious." I need to be respected! Why should I wonder why she is being rude? Rude is rude. ​JIDE: ​That’s exactly what most people miss, Ola. There is no true love without curiosity. When you truly love someone, you have a natural urge to want to know more - even when they hurt you. Instead of condemning or judging them, you ask yourself: "What happened in their day to make them react like this?"  EOO (Nodding slowly): Jide has found the secret. Curiosity is the bridge back to that sense of miracle and wonder. When we stop being curious, love becomes a chore. But when we look at the person w...

SCENE: Christmas afternoon. The bar is decorated with red and gold. Music is playing, but the conversation is serious. ​JIDE (Looking around at the crowd): ​Merry Christmas, everyone! But look closely. Some people here are smiling, but they don't feel "welcomed." They feel judged. They feel like everyone is looking at their old shoes or their cheap phone and thinking they are inadequate. ​JENNIFER (Nodding): ​That’s because of how our minds are wired, Jide. We carry "preconceived notions." If you grew up feeling unworthy, you expect people to treat you poorly. Even when someone is kind, draws you near, critiques your actions to make you better, your brain tells you it’s a lie. This "expectation" ruins our relationships and our growth. ​NNE (Sipping a drink): ​Facts. And because you feel "less than," you start taking unnecessary risks. Do you see a guy acting "too loud" or drinking too much today? It’s usually because he feels small ...

SCENE: A Bar in Ikeja. A man in his 60s is sitting alone in the corner, looking deeply unhappy. Jide watches him for a moment before turning to the group. ​JIDE (Voice low, nodding his head slightly to the oldman, he says): ​Mr. Tunde is doing his end-of-year "spirit audit." He just told me he spent most of 2025 being insulted by a girl young enough to be his last-born. She’s street-smart and sharp-tongued, but she has no true respect for age or position. ​OLA (Snorting): ​That is what happens when a lion goes to play in the mud with pigs. If you lower your standards just to have a fling, to have some "young thing" on your arm, don't complain when she treats you like her mate. You gave her the "right" to insult you the moment you stooped low. ​NNE (Sipping her drink): ​Omo, it’s not even about age. With some such girls, it is about their mindset. If she’s argumentative and always wants to be "right," to "win" every talk, she’s just ...

SCENE: A Bar in Ikeja. Festive lights are twinkling. Jide is laughing as he looks at a message on his phone. ​JIDE (Calling everyone over): ​Listen to this Christmas dilemma. An "Old Man" is complaining about his 'informal house.' He says that he has "Adopted Sons" - the young guys' he partners, encourages and motivates in business - and has "Adopted Daughters" -  younger girlfriends. ​NNE (Smirking): ​We know what "adopted daughters" means, Jide. Go on. ​JIDE: ​He says the "Sons" are sending him Christmas gifts, money and business deals to say "Thank you." But the "Daughters" are sending him long lists of expenditure to do with hair, foods and drinks, etc. They are even fighting for more of his time during the holidays! ​OLA (Hitting the table): ​This is what I call a bad investment. One group is adding to his bank account, Peace of mind and the other is a "vulture" group, just picking at his p...

SCENE: A Bar in Ikeja. Nne is showing a post to the group. She looks confused. ​NNE (Sighing): ​I’m reading this story about a guy named Ik. Narrating his sad story. His girlfriend, Bola, always told him he was her "everything." But while he was always busy planning her future, she continued to see and sleep with old male friends and customers in secret. ​OLA (Leaning in): ​Let me guess. She stays over at hotels for "boarding" and few Naira notes? I’ve seen that story. My problem isn't just that she lies. It’s that she sold her loyalty for the price of a few meat pies! That’s cheap, an insult to the word "love." ​ JIDE (Satirically): ​Ah, Ola, maybe it’s "inflation love." But really, Ik says the worst part wasn't the money. It was the message she sent after. When she asks the men: "I hope you enjoyed it?" She acts like she was providing a service instead of being a woman in a committed relationship. ​NNE: ​That’s what’s so ...

SCENE: A Bar in Ikeja. Jide is looking out at the street where women are packing up their small umbrellas for the day. ​JIDE (Reflectively): ​I just found another "social business miracle" in our city. Have you guys noticed the ladies sitting under umbrellas at the motor parks, warehouses and markets? They sell small things - electrical materials, electronics, secondhand clothes, or socks. The whole shop isn't even worth 50,000 Naira. ​NNE (Shrugging): ​Everyone is hustling, Jide. 50k is a lot of money to some people. ​JIDE (With a satirical smile): ​Ah, but the wares are just a front. The real business is the "oldest profession." Their customers don't come for the goods displayed. They come to book a "Delivery" - that’s for a quickie. Or they book a "Lodging" - that’s for the whole night. The umbrella is just a signal. ​OLA (Angrily): ​This is a total social menace! It’s disgusting. We used to know where to find "those" women. ...

SCENE: The Bar. The music is low. Everyone looks a bit tired as the year 2025 comes to an end. ​NNE (Slumped in her chair): ​Honestly, 2025 "showed me shege." I feel like I’ve been running a race for 12 months and I’m still at the starting line. I’m tired, I’m broke, and I feel like a failure. ​OLA (Sighing): ​You’re not the only one, Nne. This year stretched everyone until we almost snapped. The economy, the stress, the disappointment... it was a lot. Most of us are entering the new year feeling "broken." ​JENNIFER: ​It’s a collective trauma. When you work hard and see no results, your mind starts to tell you that you are the problem. But we must remember that a bad year is a situation, not an identity. ​EOO (Takes a clean 1,000 Naira note, crushes it into a ball in his fist, then drops it on the table): ​Look at this note. I have squeezed it. I have stepped on it in my mind. It is "cracked" and "broken." ​JIDE (Picking it up and smoothing it ou...