ZACK'S STORY
By Abidemi Sanusi
ZACK’S STORY is a response to Kemi’s Diary; that is, stories of two narrators in love but unlike in the earlier story where we shared kemi’s diary, here we’re taken on a journey of reflection of the other half- Zack Kariba. Zack gave a testimony of how within two years leading to their ten years anniversary, on where he had been, how he and his fiancée who eventually turns out wife had lived in his one room apartment, his emotional turmoil within the period and an usual discovery of his past. The story is a real, palpable documentation, that streak of actual record. Zack’s character Abidemi Sanusi shows aptly, writes his story in a different style from Kemi - showcasing the typical male orientation and worldview.
She writes with the precision of highly literate prose novelist with very well crafted dialoguing. Zack is shown to have the habit of interrupting himself, as if impatient with the fictional convention of telling a story linearly. For instance, let me quote from the prologue ".... I was left outside a children’s home when I was barely 48 hours old and was given the last name of the woman who found me. But, I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me begin my story." He did something similar, interjecting in page thirteen with; ‘But I’m getting ahead of myself again’ and in fifteen, with ‘To cut a long story short...’ an obvious writing style that though shows comical unprofessionalism helps fittingly to show Zack as a very different person from Abidemi, the pro novelist who writes with highly wrought combination of eloquence, satiric, dramatic, conversational and poetic presentation of syntax.
Presenting Zack as speaking about his expectation as a new convert into the born-again fold, she writes; ‘I waited and waited. I didn’t know what I was expecting: angels, thunder and lightning, or at least a blinding light with a drum-roll. I got none of those things, but I did get something that made me glad I said the prayers; Kemi’s face. She was so happy that I was finally ‘saved.’ her words, as her writing, are expressively calculated to convey precision and create maximum impact.
Description is finely measured, yet never over done. When, for instance, Zack was in Liberia, at a camp, he described the scene to ue thus; ‘...About ten people sat on the benches, another dozen or fifteen stood. They all had their hands raised in the air, eyes closed, and oblivion to us. No lead singers, no musicians. But the singing gave me goose bumps and I felt my heart race a little. I looked around me. Were the others feeling the same? Ben and Martin stood politely; Maxine and Andy had bowed their heads a little, Grace was wearing her bemused face.’ This description comes close to a real projection of the human drama among different characters.
Comparably, Abidemi used series of dialogues and clashes between Kemi and Zack to drive home her point of view-another quote: Kemi had returned at eight o’clock and promptly apologised for being late from work claiming she stayed back to work some more because one of her colleagues was threatening her place at the office. In anger, he asked; ‘And Yani? What about Yani?’
‘He was with you. I knew he was safe,’ she replied
‘It’s not good enough,’ he retorted getting angrier
‘Well that’s just too bad,’ she reasoned.
‘Have you even done anything about the...’
She interrupted, finishing the sentence for him, you mean, she said, ‘sort the wedding, go to work, take care of the baby, find a house...tell me , Zack, is there anything else you would like to add to your wife’s –to do- list? So it took her spelling it out for him to realise he was asking that she does it all while he lord it as man of the house.-typical.
In all, I really like the confessional and conversational style. Zack’s Story would be a wonderful travelling companion and good read. I only frowned once and that was when I could not finish the story on page79 an obvious copy editor’s stumble.
ZACK’S STORY is a response to Kemi’s Diary; that is, stories of two narrators in love but unlike in the earlier story where we shared kemi’s diary, here we’re taken on a journey of reflection of the other half- Zack Kariba. Zack gave a testimony of how within two years leading to their ten years anniversary, on where he had been, how he and his fiancée who eventually turns out wife had lived in his one room apartment, his emotional turmoil within the period and an usual discovery of his past. The story is a real, palpable documentation, that streak of actual record. Zack’s character Abidemi Sanusi shows aptly, writes his story in a different style from Kemi - showcasing the typical male orientation and worldview.
She writes with the precision of highly literate prose novelist with very well crafted dialoguing. Zack is shown to have the habit of interrupting himself, as if impatient with the fictional convention of telling a story linearly. For instance, let me quote from the prologue ".... I was left outside a children’s home when I was barely 48 hours old and was given the last name of the woman who found me. But, I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me begin my story." He did something similar, interjecting in page thirteen with; ‘But I’m getting ahead of myself again’ and in fifteen, with ‘To cut a long story short...’ an obvious writing style that though shows comical unprofessionalism helps fittingly to show Zack as a very different person from Abidemi, the pro novelist who writes with highly wrought combination of eloquence, satiric, dramatic, conversational and poetic presentation of syntax.
Presenting Zack as speaking about his expectation as a new convert into the born-again fold, she writes; ‘I waited and waited. I didn’t know what I was expecting: angels, thunder and lightning, or at least a blinding light with a drum-roll. I got none of those things, but I did get something that made me glad I said the prayers; Kemi’s face. She was so happy that I was finally ‘saved.’ her words, as her writing, are expressively calculated to convey precision and create maximum impact.
Description is finely measured, yet never over done. When, for instance, Zack was in Liberia, at a camp, he described the scene to ue thus; ‘...About ten people sat on the benches, another dozen or fifteen stood. They all had their hands raised in the air, eyes closed, and oblivion to us. No lead singers, no musicians. But the singing gave me goose bumps and I felt my heart race a little. I looked around me. Were the others feeling the same? Ben and Martin stood politely; Maxine and Andy had bowed their heads a little, Grace was wearing her bemused face.’ This description comes close to a real projection of the human drama among different characters.
Comparably, Abidemi used series of dialogues and clashes between Kemi and Zack to drive home her point of view-another quote: Kemi had returned at eight o’clock and promptly apologised for being late from work claiming she stayed back to work some more because one of her colleagues was threatening her place at the office. In anger, he asked; ‘And Yani? What about Yani?’
‘He was with you. I knew he was safe,’ she replied
‘It’s not good enough,’ he retorted getting angrier
‘Well that’s just too bad,’ she reasoned.
‘Have you even done anything about the...’
She interrupted, finishing the sentence for him, you mean, she said, ‘sort the wedding, go to work, take care of the baby, find a house...tell me , Zack, is there anything else you would like to add to your wife’s –to do- list? So it took her spelling it out for him to realise he was asking that she does it all while he lord it as man of the house.-typical.
In all, I really like the confessional and conversational style. Zack’s Story would be a wonderful travelling companion and good read. I only frowned once and that was when I could not finish the story on page79 an obvious copy editor’s stumble.
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