Lessons In Self-Development; Reinventing Yourself:

This morning, I confessed to a lady whose husband had gone through some harrowing challenges that, I never knew that she had in her, such strength and staying power to nurse her husband back to health. I called her an incredible, unbelievable and amazing woman. I did all that because I had all along, always felt she was the one needing help. I thought that without her husband, her life would be very challenging, if not impossible for her to move around. And, I really, really feared and felt sorry for her when her darling husband took ill. He has fully recovered now and convalescing when we had our conversation. She told me how in the past four months, she had single handedly cared for all his needs; feeding, bathing, attending to his fecal matter, etc. Don't get me wrong, I am aware the female gender, human and animal, are made by God-mysteriously of unequal strength, patience, perseverance, accommodation, balance, stability, stoicism, reticence, etc. All strength of character most of them do not know they posses until you mess with their offspring and they, without thinking, have a go at you. Today, she confirmed my suspicion that she has strength and resilience much more than meet the eyes, a feeling I began to nurse the day I saw her, just before the lockdown “run,” I mean dashed from one end of the building we were in to her husband's office. So, after our talk this morning, I concluded, either I have all along been wrong in my thinking of her or she fundamentally has regenerated, remodelled,  remade herself or she had been pretentious and with her husband's situation, meliorated. Whatever maybe her motivation, I believe she falls within the essence of self-reinvention. 

Self-development by remodelling yourself is beyond just getting better on your current personality but much more; it is a complete switch, a turnabout of your person from what you are, perceived to be to what you want to become. There maybe things we’d all like or wish we could change about us.  Sometimes, they are goals and objectives we want to pursue, sometimes, they maybe to change the way that we behave or the things that we do, so that people think of us differently or simply to dig deep and awaken the inner strength in us to be strong enough to get things we want to get done, done or, to surmount challenges, to learn persevere so as to run the course of hard times, be resilience to stay a course without giving up or giving in. There will always be times in our lives when we may need to reinvent ourselves. Such times could be when we experience big changes, such as leaving our jobs, moving on from relationships, transferring to a new homes, meeting/losing loved ones, going into businesses, retirements, retrenchments, graduated and seeking for jobs, changing jobs. Such times could come when disaster strike such as in accidents that result in loosing limbs, or fall sick resulting from infection, virus, bacteria and, or diseases that could bring about incapacity or stigma. Or, something we want changed about us, others may consider immaterial such as, loosing weight, changing looks, learning to speak well, gaining confidence, overcoming consciousness of inadequacy, etc. Any of these and more can bring about major shift in life. With any of such happenstances, you have and always would have choices to choose from; first,  you can let things be as they are, by ridding the course of the happenings around you, adapt and let it define you-reset and reshape your life, secondly, you can give up by giving in and let the happenings destroy you, or thirdly, my favourite, you can let the happenings strengthen you by digging deep to reinvent and consciously working to be in charge of the course of what direction the happenstances take you. Mainly, those who dared, leave their old course of living, to enable themselves pursue other passions, find vigour and renewed zest in living. Anyone can do it, no matter the circumstances, situation or physicality.

One thing though, I belueve you must steadfastly do is, always be focused on the big picture.  Stay focused on resolving the main problems than get distracted by fiddling with things and matters that probably would not have bearing or impact on the final outcome.  It is only natural that there would likely be aberrations, interference, or complications. There could possibly come a time where and when you could become impatient and want quicker solutions or have doubts about your ability to succeed. The fact remains that the bigger and, or more difficult, entangled or complicated the changes are, the more the resilience, patience, time and effort required to be invested. Therefore, in whatever venture you sort to embark on, try not to be too hard on yourself. So, where and when you see signs of progress, give yourself credit for your accomplishment.

Remember, in my introduction to self-development, I did a guide checklist. I'd do thesame here, for reinventing yourself:

PLAN;

You are pulling yourself away from your comfort zones with regards to perceptions, habit, place or role. Such can be difficult, confusing or tasking without a plan. So, you need realistic and practical plan for direction and checks. And, where you have the know how, the use of SMART goal can help you plan better.

MUSTER COURAGE;

Doubts, indecision, lack of beliefs can arise when one wants to effect changes or, particularly, when one encounters difficulties or setbacks. These are some of the negative emotions that can be encountered. There is a need to work on managing or overcoming them to move forward. 

FIND YOUR WEAKNESSES AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY, STRENGTH;

Ask your parents, if you have one, ask your siblings, friends, colleague. Sip through the feedback because, in them you'd find valuable information about such characteristics that can help you deal with what challenges you face. There are books you can read for strength as well as weakness assessment. Getting to know both would help you as fallback, to regain, getting unstuck and be motivated when you feel low, confused or needing redirection.

Also remember, as I mentioned in the last piece, embarking in self-development can be very challenging. Question, dilemma, botheration, etc are some huddles guaranteed to happen. We are nothing without the shoulders and comforts of other fellow Beings, and we would fail where and when we are unable to get to the finishing line. It is therefore, important to rededicate to sharpening our senses of resiliency, staying grounded, determined and staying the course.

In conclusion, it is important to ask yourself the question, whether you are after complete reinvention or simply, needing some adjustments in your personality to reinvent and align your defective part(s) as you wish, to make you a better whole? What exactly do you want changed? Are the changes you need as a result of habit which maybe easier to work at adjusting or giving them up. Or, is it patterned behaviours which are more complicated, sometimes insurmountable or at best managed? To address pattered behaviours, there are the need to identify the trigger signs and learning to positively find techniques to manage them, if not possible to completely overcome them.The Worst cases are the causes necessitating changes as result of fatality, casualty, virus or affliction and you wish to wrestle or manage, to get your life back to normal. For the first two, you may start by writing down all the changes you desire and what tasks to accomplish them. Maintain a journal if you can and never be afraid to fail or when you peak too early before the finish line, never panic or give up. Just follow the steps above, readjust, and doing so as many times as required but stay determined to reach your desired destination. It is always worth the effort when you final make it. As for the latter, happenings beyond your control, still follow the advice to remain resilience believing, prayerful, patient, but still, firmly fixed on overcoming. God's speed.