TOPIC TODAY: When an older person dates someone much younger and less mature, is it always being affronted and humiliated just "part of the package," or is it a sign that they lowered their standards too far?
SCENE: A Bar in Ikeja. A man in his 60s is sitting alone in the corner, looking deeply unhappy. Jide watches him for a moment before turning to the group.
JIDE (Voice low, nodding his head slightly to the oldman, he says):
Mr. Tunde is doing his end-of-year "spirit audit." He just told me he spent most of 2025 being insulted by a girl young enough to be his last-born. She’s street-smart and sharp-tongued, but she has no true respect for age or position.
OLA (Snorting):
That is what happens when a lion goes to play in the mud with pigs. If you lower your standards just to have a fling, to have some "young thing" on your arm, don't complain when she treats you like her mate. You gave her the "right" to insult you the moment you stooped low.
NNE (Sipping her drink):
Omo, it’s not even about age. With some such girls, it is about their mindset. If she’s argumentative and always wants to be "right," to "win" every talk, she’s just showing her true colours. But Ola is right - if you date someone who doesn't match your level of maturity, you’re basically paying to be bullied. That’s a "Premium Subscription" to stress.
JENNIFER (Nodding):
It’s a loss of Social Capital. In his attempt to socialise, he allowed himself to be humiliated. He is experiencing "Deep Resentment" now because he knows he betrayed his own dignity. Being "street-smart" isn't an excuse for being offensive. He feels shamed because he let himself into such situation, into the gutter of petty arguments.
EOO (Looking at the man):
The worst pain isn't the insult she gave him. The worst pain must be about him betraying himself, that is, the betrayal of self. Every time she yelled at him, instead of walking away, he stayed, he broke a promise to himself. He feels "broken" not because of her words, but because he stayed in a place where he was not honoured.
JIDE (Satirically):
He says he wants to leave all that "shame" in 2025. He’s tired of being the "Old Man" who gets shouted at and hissed at over WhatsApp texts. He wants his crown back for 2026.
OLA:
Well, he should throw the whole girl away. You can't fix a "native intelligence" that is built on hurting people. If he enters January with that same girl, then he hasn't learned his lesson. He should trade his "young headache" for some old-fashioned peace.
AMARA (Joining in):
Respect is the minimum entry requirement for any relationship. If you have to fight for it, you’ve already lost it.
JIDE (Voice low, nodding his head slightly to the oldman, he says):
Mr. Tunde is doing his end-of-year "spirit audit." He just told me he spent most of 2025 being insulted by a girl young enough to be his last-born. She’s street-smart and sharp-tongued, but she has no true respect for age or position.
OLA (Snorting):
That is what happens when a lion goes to play in the mud with pigs. If you lower your standards just to have a fling, to have some "young thing" on your arm, don't complain when she treats you like her mate. You gave her the "right" to insult you the moment you stooped low.
NNE (Sipping her drink):
Omo, it’s not even about age. With some such girls, it is about their mindset. If she’s argumentative and always wants to be "right," to "win" every talk, she’s just showing her true colours. But Ola is right - if you date someone who doesn't match your level of maturity, you’re basically paying to be bullied. That’s a "Premium Subscription" to stress.
JENNIFER (Nodding):
It’s a loss of Social Capital. In his attempt to socialise, he allowed himself to be humiliated. He is experiencing "Deep Resentment" now because he knows he betrayed his own dignity. Being "street-smart" isn't an excuse for being offensive. He feels shamed because he let himself into such situation, into the gutter of petty arguments.
EOO (Looking at the man):
The worst pain isn't the insult she gave him. The worst pain must be about him betraying himself, that is, the betrayal of self. Every time she yelled at him, instead of walking away, he stayed, he broke a promise to himself. He feels "broken" not because of her words, but because he stayed in a place where he was not honoured.
JIDE (Satirically):
He says he wants to leave all that "shame" in 2025. He’s tired of being the "Old Man" who gets shouted at and hissed at over WhatsApp texts. He wants his crown back for 2026.
OLA:
Well, he should throw the whole girl away. You can't fix a "native intelligence" that is built on hurting people. If he enters January with that same girl, then he hasn't learned his lesson. He should trade his "young headache" for some old-fashioned peace.
AMARA (Joining in):
Respect is the minimum entry requirement for any relationship. If you have to fight for it, you’ve already lost it.
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