TOPIC TODAY: Why does it make people (especially older ones) uncomfortable to see a woman enjoying a meal or a drink alone? Is a woman without a man "at risk," or is she just free? Would you encourage your daughter or sister to go out alone like this?
SCENE: Evakings Bar. The door opens. A lady walks in alone. She is dressed neatly but simply. She doesn't look around for anyone. She sits at a table, orders a drink and a plate of pepper soup, and starts scrolling through her phone with a small smile.
ELDER EPHRAIM (Adjusting his glasses, whispering loudly):
Ha! What is this world coming to? Look at that girl. Sitting there all by herself in a public bar. No husband, no brother, no boyfriend. In my day, a virtuous woman wouldn't even be seen near the door of a bar alone. It looks... suspicious.
OLA (Nodding):
I’m with you, Elder. A woman sitting alone in a place like this is usually waiting for someone. If she stays too long, people will start thinking she is one of those "umbrella traders" Jide told us about. It’s not "safe" for her reputation.
NNE (Rolling her eyes):
Oh, please! Look at her. She’s not waiting for anyone. She’s vibing! She’s hungry, she wants a drink, and she’s enjoying her own company. That is called Self-Confidence. She doesn't need a man to "validate" her existence just because she wants pepper soup.
JENNIFER:
Elder, what you are seeing is a Social Transformation. For a long time, society taught women that they are "incomplete" or "at risk" without a male counterpart. However, as education increases, women come to realise they have the right to public spaces. Why should a bar be for men only? She is exercising her right to be a person, not just a "partner."
ELDER EPHRAIM:
But it is dangerous! Men will harass her. They will think she is "available." A woman is a flower; she needs a fence around her. This "confidence" you speak of is just an invitation for trouble. It is not how a well-brought-up girl behaves.
EOO (Looking at the girl with admiration):
Elder, look at her face. Does she look troubled? She appears to be a person who has found peace. There is a special kind of miracle in a woman who can walk into a room alone and not feel "less than." She is her own fence. Her dignity is her protection.
JIDE (Satirically):
Exactly, Elder. We men spend all our time complaining that women "bill" us too much when we take them out. Now, here is a girl paying for her own drink, her own food, and giving nobody any trouble, and you are still complaining! We are hard to please.
NNE:
I love it for her. I hope more girls see this and realise they don't have to wait for a "date" to enjoy life. If you want to go to the cinema, go! If you want to eat out, eat out! Stop waiting for a man to "take" you places. Take yourself!
AMARA (Joining in):
This is how we change reality. By doing it. The more we see women sitting comfortably alone, the more "normal" it becomes. We need to stop disparaging independent women and start applauding and respecting their strength.
OLA:
Well, I still think she looks lonely.
Why This Matters
For too long, the sight of a woman alone in public was seen as a "signal" for something negative. Today, we celebrate the shift toward Female Independence.
• Confidence is not an invitation.
• Self-assurance is not a crime.
• Independence is the new reality.
ELDER EPHRAIM (Adjusting his glasses, whispering loudly):
Ha! What is this world coming to? Look at that girl. Sitting there all by herself in a public bar. No husband, no brother, no boyfriend. In my day, a virtuous woman wouldn't even be seen near the door of a bar alone. It looks... suspicious.
OLA (Nodding):
I’m with you, Elder. A woman sitting alone in a place like this is usually waiting for someone. If she stays too long, people will start thinking she is one of those "umbrella traders" Jide told us about. It’s not "safe" for her reputation.
NNE (Rolling her eyes):
Oh, please! Look at her. She’s not waiting for anyone. She’s vibing! She’s hungry, she wants a drink, and she’s enjoying her own company. That is called Self-Confidence. She doesn't need a man to "validate" her existence just because she wants pepper soup.
JENNIFER:
Elder, what you are seeing is a Social Transformation. For a long time, society taught women that they are "incomplete" or "at risk" without a male counterpart. However, as education increases, women come to realise they have the right to public spaces. Why should a bar be for men only? She is exercising her right to be a person, not just a "partner."
ELDER EPHRAIM:
But it is dangerous! Men will harass her. They will think she is "available." A woman is a flower; she needs a fence around her. This "confidence" you speak of is just an invitation for trouble. It is not how a well-brought-up girl behaves.
EOO (Looking at the girl with admiration):
Elder, look at her face. Does she look troubled? She appears to be a person who has found peace. There is a special kind of miracle in a woman who can walk into a room alone and not feel "less than." She is her own fence. Her dignity is her protection.
JIDE (Satirically):
Exactly, Elder. We men spend all our time complaining that women "bill" us too much when we take them out. Now, here is a girl paying for her own drink, her own food, and giving nobody any trouble, and you are still complaining! We are hard to please.
NNE:
I love it for her. I hope more girls see this and realise they don't have to wait for a "date" to enjoy life. If you want to go to the cinema, go! If you want to eat out, eat out! Stop waiting for a man to "take" you places. Take yourself!
AMARA (Joining in):
This is how we change reality. By doing it. The more we see women sitting comfortably alone, the more "normal" it becomes. We need to stop disparaging independent women and start applauding and respecting their strength.
OLA:
Well, I still think she looks lonely.
JIDE:
Ola, there is a big difference between being "alone" and being "lonely." She is alone, but she looks like she’s in very good company - her own.
Ola, there is a big difference between being "alone" and being "lonely." She is alone, but she looks like she’s in very good company - her own.
Why This Matters
For too long, the sight of a woman alone in public was seen as a "signal" for something negative. Today, we celebrate the shift toward Female Independence.
• Confidence is not an invitation.
• Self-assurance is not a crime.
• Independence is the new reality.
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