TOPIC TODAY: When someone you love offends you, do you react with fire (Ola), or do you react with curiosity (Jide)? Can looking at someone with a "childlike heart" actually save a relationship, or is it too risky in today's world?

SCENE: Late afternoon. Everyone is relaxed. Jide leans forward, looking more thoughtful than usual.
​JIDE (Quietly):
​I tried something different on a date recently. She said something that really offended me. Usually, I would get angry or go cold. But this time, I chose curiosity instead of anger.
​OLA (Laughing):
​Curiosity? Jide, if a woman offends me, I don't need to be "curious." I need to be respected! Why should I wonder why she is being rude? Rude is rude.
​JIDE:
​That’s exactly what most people miss, Ola. There is no true love without curiosity. When you truly love someone, you have a natural urge to want to know more - even when they hurt you. Instead of condemning or judging them, you ask yourself: "What happened in their day to make them react like this?" 
EOO (Nodding slowly):
Jide has found the secret. Curiosity is the bridge back to that sense of miracle and wonder. When we stop being curious, love becomes a chore. But when we look at the person who hurt us with a childlike heart, the miracle returns. A child doesn't condemn; a child just wonders.
​JENNIFER (Tapping her notebook):
​It’s actually convenient. If you meet an offence with curiosity, you stay in control. You are acting like Christ advocated - meeting judgment with a heart that doesn't judge back. You are searching for the "why"instead of focusing on the "what." It makes life much more beautiful.
​NNE (Leaning in):
​Okay, but wait. If someone is just a "toxic," a person naturally narcissistic, won't being "curious" just make you a victim? If I’m always asking "why," won't they just keep hurting me because they know I’ll just be "childlike" about it?
​JIDE:
​Not at all, Nne. Curiosity isn't about being a doormat. It’s about reclaiming your peace. If you find out the "why" and realise it's just their bad character, you can walk away without bitterness. You keep your heart clean. You don't respond "in kind" - you don't become the thing you hate.
​OLA:
​I still think it sounds like "soft work." But I guess it’s better than fighting or quarrelling.
​EOO:
​Love is not "soft," Ola. It is the strongest force there is. But you can only see it if you keep that magical sense of wonderalive.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

SCAVENGERS’ ORGY By OZIOMA IZUORA : EXPOSING THE CRAVINGS OF MEN AND THEIR FANTASIES

‘Scavengers’ Orgy,’ explores the role of customs in communities, in range of behaviour from taken for granted traits, deeds and actions; from child bequeathal, marriage, rape to all manners of exploitations and manipulations. Ozioma documents the shenanigans by individuals and organizations as they crisscross Nigeria to Europe and North America; identifying, exposing and amplifying associations and relationships that may not be obvious to casual readers. ‘Eyes glued to the mirror, Beatrice gauges the effect of the clingy black top she has just pulled over her black bra. It hangs over her short jeans skirt, revealing a wee bit of the alluring flesh of her tight abdomen. She screw up her eyes to better appreciate the effect of her apparel on her prospective audience…she is after all, the prize that has attracted all the attention. Normally she does not mind parading herself, a sinecure of inquisitive eyes, but not for these unpolished rural skunks. For three days, she has felt he...
Read more

WHY WOMEN WON'T GO TO HEAVEN

By DUL JOHNSON 1. I want to start from the very beginning – the opening; What does a reader want in an opening? First is to have the writer introduce the main character(s) and intimate something about the situation she/they are in-i.e the conflict that will provide dramatic twine for the story; (2) to get us interested and involved; and (3) to do it all in a timely fashion, i.e. it stops being an opening as soon as possible and gets on with the story.... ‘WHY WOMEN WON’T MAKE IT TO HEAVEN’ succeeded in doing just that...it introduces us to the characters, showed us where they were, and showed that they’ve gotten concerns or problems. And it does all these in the first page; starting with a long paragraph and quick five short paragraphs. After this, the story is up and running as the conflicts between a husband and his wife, then similar issues between other husbands and their wives escalates with disastrous consequences. The second story is more leisurely, comparably. Reading throug...
Read more

TENANTS OF THE HOUSE

BY WALE OKEDIRAN The historical real-life tale in the ‘Tenants of the House’ will come alive for all those who were fortunate to witness the shenanigans that went with similar attempt few years back; as in the ‘Tenants of the House,’ there was an impeachment procedure instituted against the Speaker of the House of Representative, spear headed by the president, then there was a successful fight back, but then, this was followed immediately by an attempt to institute constitutional amendment for tenure prolongation through the back door which caused an uproar and,...finally, a counter impeachment procedure instituted by the the two houses against the president. The book’s uncontested star is ofcourse, the president; a Chief Ambrose Oneya, a caricature; sloppy, foul-mouthed chief executive whose only ways to do things was to stampede everyone into doing whatever he wanted done, done his way and who never believed, until he was humiliatingly humbled, that Nigerian and Nigeria as a c...
Read more