TOPIC TODAY: Digital Addiction with Parents glued to screens and raising raise copycats. Are you using your phone to "relax" or to escape your family? Can you go a whole dinner without checking a single notification?• The Big Question: If your child grows up to be a "digital copy" of you today, would you be happy with who they are?
The scene at Ola's house is quieter than usual, but not because the group are tired. Everyone, including Ola is staring at their phone, scrolling "news" they won't remember in five minutes. Across from him, Ola's teenage son is doing the exact same thing. They haven't spoken in twenty minutes.
Nne walks by and taps the table. "Ola, are you waiting for a call from the President, or is that phone just part of your hand now?"
Ola looks up, dazed. "I'm just checking something quickly," he mutters.
"You've been 'checking' for half an hour," Nne retorts. "And look at your boy. He’s not even eating his suya; he’s feeding his eyes on social media postings. You’re not raising a son; you’re raising a mirror."
Summary: The Dopamine Mirror
Digital addiction isn't just a "kids' problem" - it’s a family ecosystem issue. While we worry about our children becoming "screen-heads," we often forget that dopamine doesn't care about your age. The same neurochemical feedback loop that reinforces nicotine or cocaine addiction is triggered by every "like," "swipe," and "ping." When parents are glued to their screens, they aren't just neglecting their kids; they are modeling a lifestyle of digital dependency.
JENNIFER:
Ola, what you’re feeling isn't just "boredom." It’s a Dopamine Feedback Loop. Every time you see a notification, your brain gets a hit of reward.
JENNIFER (cont.):
These platforms are designed to keep you there. For a child’s developing brain, this is even more dangerous. It can lock their stress response and attention span into a permanent state of "searching for the next hit."
OLA:
But everyone is on their phone! How do I know if it’s an "addiction"?
JIDE:
It’s not about the hours spent; it’s about the impact caused.
The Digital Addiction Checklist
NNE:
You can’t tell him to "go outside" while you’re sitting on the couch scrolling. You have to model the balance.
JENNIFER:
We need to move from Limit-Setting (for younger kids) to Self-Regulation (for teens). If they don't learn how to put the phone down while they are with you, they will be lost when they leave the house.
Special Focus: Neurodiverse Youth (Autism/ADHD)
JIDE:
For kids on the spectrum, digital transitions are harder. They need predictability.
• The 5-Minute Rule: Always give a countdown before screen time ends.
• Visual Schedules: Show them exactly when screen time starts and stops.
• Clear Consequences: No surprises—they should know exactly what happens if they don't log off.
The Inquiry: Reclaiming the Dinner Table
The Group concludes that while technology is a tool, we have allowed it to become the master of the house.
• Seek Help Early: If the problem is bigger than you (aggression, deep depression), see a psychiatrist or psychologist. Sometimes you can't see the "intake" issues alone.
• Family Exercise: Replace 30 minutes of scrolling with a walk or a game. Exercise helps reset dopamine levels.
• The "Copycat" Cure: If you want your child to read, you must pick up a book. If you want them to talk, you must put down your phone.
Nne walks by and taps the table. "Ola, are you waiting for a call from the President, or is that phone just part of your hand now?"
Ola looks up, dazed. "I'm just checking something quickly," he mutters.
"You've been 'checking' for half an hour," Nne retorts. "And look at your boy. He’s not even eating his suya; he’s feeding his eyes on social media postings. You’re not raising a son; you’re raising a mirror."
Summary: The Dopamine Mirror
Digital addiction isn't just a "kids' problem" - it’s a family ecosystem issue. While we worry about our children becoming "screen-heads," we often forget that dopamine doesn't care about your age. The same neurochemical feedback loop that reinforces nicotine or cocaine addiction is triggered by every "like," "swipe," and "ping." When parents are glued to their screens, they aren't just neglecting their kids; they are modeling a lifestyle of digital dependency.
JENNIFER:
Ola, what you’re feeling isn't just "boredom." It’s a Dopamine Feedback Loop. Every time you see a notification, your brain gets a hit of reward.
JENNIFER (cont.):
These platforms are designed to keep you there. For a child’s developing brain, this is even more dangerous. It can lock their stress response and attention span into a permanent state of "searching for the next hit."
OLA:
But everyone is on their phone! How do I know if it’s an "addiction"?
JIDE:
It’s not about the hours spent; it’s about the impact caused.
The Digital Addiction Checklist
NNE:
You can’t tell him to "go outside" while you’re sitting on the couch scrolling. You have to model the balance.
JENNIFER:
We need to move from Limit-Setting (for younger kids) to Self-Regulation (for teens). If they don't learn how to put the phone down while they are with you, they will be lost when they leave the house.
Special Focus: Neurodiverse Youth (Autism/ADHD)
JIDE:
For kids on the spectrum, digital transitions are harder. They need predictability.
• The 5-Minute Rule: Always give a countdown before screen time ends.
• Visual Schedules: Show them exactly when screen time starts and stops.
• Clear Consequences: No surprises—they should know exactly what happens if they don't log off.
The Inquiry: Reclaiming the Dinner Table
The Group concludes that while technology is a tool, we have allowed it to become the master of the house.
• Seek Help Early: If the problem is bigger than you (aggression, deep depression), see a psychiatrist or psychologist. Sometimes you can't see the "intake" issues alone.
• Family Exercise: Replace 30 minutes of scrolling with a walk or a game. Exercise helps reset dopamine levels.
• The "Copycat" Cure: If you want your child to read, you must pick up a book. If you want them to talk, you must put down your phone.
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