TOPIC TODAY: Are You Building a Home or a Factory? Bisola’s cousin is now a business owner, redefining the norms for her industry. But the question for the Dynamic Group is: • Are we still using "Emotional Socialisation" to tell our sons they can't cry and our daughters they can't lead?• If STEM toys are still marketed 3:1 toward boys, how are we actively levelling the playing field at home?• The Big Question: When we force a child into a "Gender Box," are we protecting our tradition, or are we just stealing half the tools they need to survive the 21st century?
The generator at Evking’s Bar kicks in with a low thrum as Bisola finishes her story. She had just detailed her cousin's gruelling transition from an apprentice in the male-dominated spare parts markets of Mushin to owning her own automotive logistics firm.
"They didn't just dislike her," Bisola says, leaning back. "They resented her for being better. When she organised the inventory more efficiently than the men who had been there for twenty years, she wasn't just a 'supervisor' anymore—she was a threat to their entire identity as 'Kings of the Shop.'"
JENNIFER:
What Bisola’s cousin faced is Status Incongruity. When a woman outperforms men in a "male sanctuary," it challenges the psychological blueprint that says men are "innately" more capable. This isn't just a social quirk; it’s an economic strategy to keep the "boxes" small.
[02] OLA:
But is it really a "blueprint"? Aren't we just raising kids to be what they naturally are?
[03] JENNIFER:
The numbers suggest otherwise, Ola. We start laying the "Pink and Blue" bricks before they can even speak.
The Statistical Reality of the "Gender Box
NNE:
It’s about the "Symbolic Annihilation." If a girl never sees a woman in the spare parts shop, or a boardroom, or as a pilot, she thinks she’s an intruder when she gets there. We need representation for everyone—disabled, working class, and beyond.
[05] BISOLA:
Exactly. My cousin succeeded because she refused the "Status Incongruity" label. But better parenting means she shouldn't have had to fight so hard in the first place. We need to give children Toolkits, not Boxes.
🛠️ The Parenting Pivot: Three Ways to Redefine the Norm
• Linguistic Awareness: * The Trap: Using "soft" verbs (help, share, be careful) with girls and "active" verbs (build, run, jump) with boys.
• The Fix: Let girls be "doers" and boys be "helpers."
• The "Active Member" Rights (UNCRC):
• According to UNCRC General Comment No. 7, a child is a current person, not just a "future adult."
• When a child expresses interest—be it a girl wanting to fix an engine or a boy wanting to comfort a peer—suppressing it is a violation of their right to self-expression.
• Representation Beyond the Binary: * Show children stories where heroes don't all look, act, or earn the same. Diversity is the antidote to "Symbolic Annihilation."
[06] ELDER EPHRAIM:
So, the "shenanigans" Bisola’s cousin faced were just an attempt to force her back into a box that was too small?
[07] JENNIFER:
Precisely. A 2018 meta-analysis of over 100 studies found that for traits like math ability and leadership, the differences within a gender group are much larger than the differences between them. Biology is the whisper; socialisation is the shout.
"They didn't just dislike her," Bisola says, leaning back. "They resented her for being better. When she organised the inventory more efficiently than the men who had been there for twenty years, she wasn't just a 'supervisor' anymore—she was a threat to their entire identity as 'Kings of the Shop.'"
JENNIFER:
What Bisola’s cousin faced is Status Incongruity. When a woman outperforms men in a "male sanctuary," it challenges the psychological blueprint that says men are "innately" more capable. This isn't just a social quirk; it’s an economic strategy to keep the "boxes" small.
[02] OLA:
But is it really a "blueprint"? Aren't we just raising kids to be what they naturally are?
[03] JENNIFER:
The numbers suggest otherwise, Ola. We start laying the "Pink and Blue" bricks before they can even speak.
The Statistical Reality of the "Gender Box
NNE:
It’s about the "Symbolic Annihilation." If a girl never sees a woman in the spare parts shop, or a boardroom, or as a pilot, she thinks she’s an intruder when she gets there. We need representation for everyone—disabled, working class, and beyond.
[05] BISOLA:
Exactly. My cousin succeeded because she refused the "Status Incongruity" label. But better parenting means she shouldn't have had to fight so hard in the first place. We need to give children Toolkits, not Boxes.
🛠️ The Parenting Pivot: Three Ways to Redefine the Norm
• Linguistic Awareness: * The Trap: Using "soft" verbs (help, share, be careful) with girls and "active" verbs (build, run, jump) with boys.
• The Fix: Let girls be "doers" and boys be "helpers."
• The "Active Member" Rights (UNCRC):
• According to UNCRC General Comment No. 7, a child is a current person, not just a "future adult."
• When a child expresses interest—be it a girl wanting to fix an engine or a boy wanting to comfort a peer—suppressing it is a violation of their right to self-expression.
• Representation Beyond the Binary: * Show children stories where heroes don't all look, act, or earn the same. Diversity is the antidote to "Symbolic Annihilation."
[06] ELDER EPHRAIM:
So, the "shenanigans" Bisola’s cousin faced were just an attempt to force her back into a box that was too small?
[07] JENNIFER:
Precisely. A 2018 meta-analysis of over 100 studies found that for traits like math ability and leadership, the differences within a gender group are much larger than the differences between them. Biology is the whisper; socialisation is the shout.
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