TOPIC TODAY: Is the "Silent Woman" the Foundation of a Broken Society?An authoritarian setting relies on the regulation of the female gender to maintain its existence. But the walls are coming down. Is Silence a virtue, or is it a survival mechanism that breeds psychological damage?bHow can our youths learn to build relationships based on intimacy rather than power and intimidationvand, and control? The Big Question: When a woman uses her voice to redefine herself, is she "threatening tradition," or is she finally allowing herself to breathe?
The air at Evking’s Bar feels different tonight. The usual banter has been replaced by a focused, electric intensity. Nne is holding her phone up, showing the group a viral video of a young Nigerian woman calmly explaining why she stopped attending high-status but repressive "traditional" gatherings of ex-students."
The topic tonight isn't just about parenting - it’s about the Authoritarian Structure itself. How families and communities use the regulation of girls and women in general to keep "Silent Repression" alive, and how that cycle is finally breaking.
JENNIFER:
We need to be honest about how authoritarian settings work. They don't just use "Koboko." They maintain control through the systematic regulation of women’s bodies and voices. From childhood, a girl is taught that her "moral development" is tied to her compliance. If she speaks too loudly, she’s "loose." If she thinks too big, she’s "dangerous."
ELDER EPHRAIM:
But Jennifer, that "regulation" was meant to protect the family name! We believed that if the woman is controlled, the home is stable. Is it "repression," or is it just "order"?
BISOLA:
It’s repression, Elder. Because that "order" is built on the funeral of a woman’s autonomy. In such homes or settings, intimacy is undermined by fear. A woman becomes complicit in her own cage because survival requires her to manage other people's egos.
Divine (14):
I see it in school. Some girls are so quiet because they are afraid that if they show too much "brilliance," they won't be "marriageable." They are already practising how to be "accessories" at fourteen. It feels like they are holding their breath for a life they haven't even started.
NNE:
But that’s the thing - the breath is being released! Look at social media. What used to be "private family shame" is now a public conversation. Women are using their voices to redefine themselves. It’s not just "complaining"; it’s a moral agency. They are choosing truth over the "safety" of silence.
Ebuka (16):
But how does it affect us, the boys? If the home is an "Authoritarian Zone," I grew up thinking I’m supposed to be the "Boss" who regulates everyone. It puts a lot of pressure on me to be a "dictator" just to feel like a man.
JENNIFER:
Exactly, Ebuka.
When children are born into homes that perpetuate this, their "moral reasoning" gets stuck. They learn that power equals control, and love equals submission. This spills over into modern relationships, where some feel threatened by others' success, making some youths feel guilty for their own power.
JIDE:
So, the "Social Media Post" isn't just a post. It’s an act of Risk-Taking. It’s a woman saying: "I refuse to be a stand-by character in a story." She is reclaiming her memory and her future.
BISOLA:
The goal for our young generation is to recognise that Defiance is not Disrespect. It is the reclamation of a human right. A home or setting that requires your silence to stay "peaceful" is not a home or proper gathering - it’s a prison.
The Advisory: Re-Writing the Script for the Youth
For the young generation reading this:
• Identify the "Script": Recognise when you are being told to "shrink" or "silence" yourself just to keep the peace. Awareness is the first step to agency.
• Challenge the "Complicity": If you see a sibling or anyone else being repressed, find safe ways to validate their voice. Resistance starts with small acts of solidarity.
• Redefine "friendship," or being "mates": Real power is the ability to empower others, not to regulate them. Anyone who needs a "silent" mate or sibling is a person who is afraid of their own shadow.
• Use Your Tools: Speech, writing, and digital platforms are the modern "keys" to the old cages. Use them to tell the truth about your experiences
The topic tonight isn't just about parenting - it’s about the Authoritarian Structure itself. How families and communities use the regulation of girls and women in general to keep "Silent Repression" alive, and how that cycle is finally breaking.
JENNIFER:
We need to be honest about how authoritarian settings work. They don't just use "Koboko." They maintain control through the systematic regulation of women’s bodies and voices. From childhood, a girl is taught that her "moral development" is tied to her compliance. If she speaks too loudly, she’s "loose." If she thinks too big, she’s "dangerous."
ELDER EPHRAIM:
But Jennifer, that "regulation" was meant to protect the family name! We believed that if the woman is controlled, the home is stable. Is it "repression," or is it just "order"?
BISOLA:
It’s repression, Elder. Because that "order" is built on the funeral of a woman’s autonomy. In such homes or settings, intimacy is undermined by fear. A woman becomes complicit in her own cage because survival requires her to manage other people's egos.
Divine (14):
I see it in school. Some girls are so quiet because they are afraid that if they show too much "brilliance," they won't be "marriageable." They are already practising how to be "accessories" at fourteen. It feels like they are holding their breath for a life they haven't even started.
NNE:
But that’s the thing - the breath is being released! Look at social media. What used to be "private family shame" is now a public conversation. Women are using their voices to redefine themselves. It’s not just "complaining"; it’s a moral agency. They are choosing truth over the "safety" of silence.
Ebuka (16):
But how does it affect us, the boys? If the home is an "Authoritarian Zone," I grew up thinking I’m supposed to be the "Boss" who regulates everyone. It puts a lot of pressure on me to be a "dictator" just to feel like a man.
JENNIFER:
Exactly, Ebuka.
When children are born into homes that perpetuate this, their "moral reasoning" gets stuck. They learn that power equals control, and love equals submission. This spills over into modern relationships, where some feel threatened by others' success, making some youths feel guilty for their own power.
JIDE:
So, the "Social Media Post" isn't just a post. It’s an act of Risk-Taking. It’s a woman saying: "I refuse to be a stand-by character in a story." She is reclaiming her memory and her future.
BISOLA:
The goal for our young generation is to recognise that Defiance is not Disrespect. It is the reclamation of a human right. A home or setting that requires your silence to stay "peaceful" is not a home or proper gathering - it’s a prison.
The Advisory: Re-Writing the Script for the Youth
For the young generation reading this:
• Identify the "Script": Recognise when you are being told to "shrink" or "silence" yourself just to keep the peace. Awareness is the first step to agency.
• Challenge the "Complicity": If you see a sibling or anyone else being repressed, find safe ways to validate their voice. Resistance starts with small acts of solidarity.
• Redefine "friendship," or being "mates": Real power is the ability to empower others, not to regulate them. Anyone who needs a "silent" mate or sibling is a person who is afraid of their own shadow.
• Use Your Tools: Speech, writing, and digital platforms are the modern "keys" to the old cages. Use them to tell the truth about your experiences
Comments