TOPIC TODAY: Is "Modernity" Just a New Word for "Disrespect"? The clash with the girl at the bar near Balogun Market is a symbol of a generation trying to redefine itself.• Are elders feeling threatened by youthful individuality, or are the youth truly becoming "un-African"?• Can we find a middle ground where a girl can be "expressive" without snapping the "thread of respectability"? The Big Question: If we lose our traditional "modes of communication" (the greetings, the kinship, the taboos), what is left to stop our society from becoming "crude" and "underdeveloped," no matter how many gadgets we own?
The ceiling fan at Evking’s Bar is spinning faster tonight, mirroring the rising voices at the corner table. Ola is leaning forward, his palm slapping the wood as he describes what he saw at a bar bear Balogun Market earlier that day.
"It wasn't a fight," Ola says, his eyes wide. "But the atmosphere was heavy. This young girl, probably in her twenties, was standing her ground against two elders. She wasn't cursing, but she was... loud. She was opinionated. One of the men looked like he wanted the earth to swallow her for being 'disrespectful'
But the girl? She looked like she was finally breathing."
OLA:
What I saw in Balogun wasn't just a girl raising her voice; it was a clash of two worlds. The elders saw an "alien" behavior - a child who thinks she is an equal. We’ve imbibed these Western attitudes so deeply that a twenty something - year-old thinks she can "chat" her own individuality right in the middle of a traditional marketplace. Are we losing our family values to a "foreign" trend?
ELDER EPHRAIM:
It is an erosion, Ola. We are turning our backs on the very things that kept us together: the greeting, the manners of speaking, the respect for the hierarchy. To the youth, we are "primitive" or "crude" because we value tradition. But that tradition is the only thing that kept the family from falling apart.
NNE:
But Elder, why is it that "tradition" always seems to favour one gender? That girl in Balogun wasn't being "alien"; she was refusing to be oppressed by a belief system that says her voice has no weight because of her age or her sex. Why must "modernity" be seen as an attack? Maybe we just want a society that fits us, not a constitution written in 1950.
JENNIFER:
We need to stop equating "Modern" with "Western" and "Primitive" with "Traditional."
Being civilized has nothing to do with having a degree. It’s an attitude. It’s being reasonable. A truly cultured person - young or old - is someone who is alive to the bonds and boundaries that connect us. You can be opinionated without being "hot," and you can be traditional without being "cold."
BISOLA:
Exactly. Culture should be the balm that heals, not the shackle that binds. When we ask, "How are you?" in our traditional langyages or ways, it isn't just a greeting; it’s a check-in on the soul. If the youth turn their backs on that "true humanity," they’ll find that "modernity" is a very lonely place.
EOO (The Writer):
This is where the writers and filmmakers come in. Our movies shouldn't just show the "bling" or the "suffering." We need to document the proper and acceptable values. If we don't write the stories of how a daughter respects her father while holding her own ground, the only scripts the youth will have are the ones they find on social media.
The Inquiry: Retracing Our Steps
The group acknowledges that a gap has widened between the "Traditional Elder" and the "Modern Youth." To resolve it, we must look at:
• Attitude over Education: Acknowledging that "Culture" is about how we treat one another (the "How are you?" cure), not just what language we speak.
• Preservation through Media: Using movies and literature as corrective measures to show that you can be "civilized" while remaining "African."
• The Boundary Thread: Understanding that boundaries (in marriage, death, and greeting) are not there to oppress, but to "knit" the society together so it doesn't bleed out.
"It wasn't a fight," Ola says, his eyes wide. "But the atmosphere was heavy. This young girl, probably in her twenties, was standing her ground against two elders. She wasn't cursing, but she was... loud. She was opinionated. One of the men looked like he wanted the earth to swallow her for being 'disrespectful'
But the girl? She looked like she was finally breathing."
OLA:
What I saw in Balogun wasn't just a girl raising her voice; it was a clash of two worlds. The elders saw an "alien" behavior - a child who thinks she is an equal. We’ve imbibed these Western attitudes so deeply that a twenty something - year-old thinks she can "chat" her own individuality right in the middle of a traditional marketplace. Are we losing our family values to a "foreign" trend?
ELDER EPHRAIM:
It is an erosion, Ola. We are turning our backs on the very things that kept us together: the greeting, the manners of speaking, the respect for the hierarchy. To the youth, we are "primitive" or "crude" because we value tradition. But that tradition is the only thing that kept the family from falling apart.
NNE:
But Elder, why is it that "tradition" always seems to favour one gender? That girl in Balogun wasn't being "alien"; she was refusing to be oppressed by a belief system that says her voice has no weight because of her age or her sex. Why must "modernity" be seen as an attack? Maybe we just want a society that fits us, not a constitution written in 1950.
JENNIFER:
We need to stop equating "Modern" with "Western" and "Primitive" with "Traditional."
Being civilized has nothing to do with having a degree. It’s an attitude. It’s being reasonable. A truly cultured person - young or old - is someone who is alive to the bonds and boundaries that connect us. You can be opinionated without being "hot," and you can be traditional without being "cold."
BISOLA:
Exactly. Culture should be the balm that heals, not the shackle that binds. When we ask, "How are you?" in our traditional langyages or ways, it isn't just a greeting; it’s a check-in on the soul. If the youth turn their backs on that "true humanity," they’ll find that "modernity" is a very lonely place.
EOO (The Writer):
This is where the writers and filmmakers come in. Our movies shouldn't just show the "bling" or the "suffering." We need to document the proper and acceptable values. If we don't write the stories of how a daughter respects her father while holding her own ground, the only scripts the youth will have are the ones they find on social media.
The Inquiry: Retracing Our Steps
The group acknowledges that a gap has widened between the "Traditional Elder" and the "Modern Youth." To resolve it, we must look at:
• Attitude over Education: Acknowledging that "Culture" is about how we treat one another (the "How are you?" cure), not just what language we speak.
• Preservation through Media: Using movies and literature as corrective measures to show that you can be "civilized" while remaining "African."
• The Boundary Thread: Understanding that boundaries (in marriage, death, and greeting) are not there to oppress, but to "knit" the society together so it doesn't bleed out.
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