TOPIC TODAY: Scrolling Through Life: Identity, Anxiety, and the Digital MirrorSocial media is here to stay, but the way we "consume" it determines our survival.• Can Lagos school counselors truly bridge the gap if the home environment remains "Authoritarian"?• How can celebrating diversity in the classroom stop the "standardisation" of beauty and success that social media demands?• The Big Question: If we want a generation that is "Stigma-Free," are we willing to start by being honest about our own mental health struggles in front of our children?
The blue light of Nne’s phone reflects in her eyes as she sighs, finally locking the screen and placing it face down on the wooden table at Evking’s Bar. "My cousin’s daughter just spent three hours editing a photo to look like a 'perceived' version of herself," she says. "By the time she posted it, she was so anxious about the 'likes' that she couldn't even finish eating dinner. She’s scrolling through life, but she’s losing herself in the process."
JENNIFER:
Adolescence is the ultimate Identity Lab. It’s when kids figure out "Who am I?" and "Where do I fit?" Usually, this happens in classrooms, but now it’s happening on social media.
The problem is that social media creates a "Culture of Comparison." When a 14-year-old compares their "behind-the-scenes" life to someone else’s "highlight reel," they don't just feel sad - they experience a distortion of their very identity.
NNE:
And it’s the rejection sensitivity. One mean comment or being "left on read" feels like a physical punch. We call it cyberbullying, but to a teenager, it feels like an existential threat. It follows them into their bedroom; there’s no "safe space" anymore.
OLA:
So, as parents, are we just supposed to watch them drown in the scroll? My son won't even look up from his game to say "Good night."
BISOLA:
Not at all, Ola. There is a significant movement underway. I heard that Lagos State primary school counsellors are being specifically trained to identify bullying before it even starts. They are moving beyond "theory" to real, one-on-one listening.
JENNIFER:
That’s the "Stigma-Free" approach. We need to bring people with lived experience into schools to say, "I’ve been there, I felt the shame, and I survived." When organisations like the Writers Interactive Network (WIN) visit schools, they use stories and art to break the silence. They turn the "shame" of mental health into a "lesson" in resilience.
JIDE:
I like the idea of PTA meetings being used for this. Instead of just talking about school fees, parents should be getting resources on how to spot the "silent symptoms" - the headaches, the nausea, the sudden drop in grades - that mean a child is being bullied online.
NNE:
We have to teach Mindful Scrolling.
• Inspiration, Not Comparison: Follow accounts that uplift, not ones that make you feel "less than."
• Open Communication: If I can’t tell my mom I’m being bullied because she’ll "seize the phone," I’ll just keep suffering in silence. The phone isn't the enemy; the silence is.
JENNIFER:
Adolescence is the ultimate Identity Lab. It’s when kids figure out "Who am I?" and "Where do I fit?" Usually, this happens in classrooms, but now it’s happening on social media.
The problem is that social media creates a "Culture of Comparison." When a 14-year-old compares their "behind-the-scenes" life to someone else’s "highlight reel," they don't just feel sad - they experience a distortion of their very identity.
NNE:
And it’s the rejection sensitivity. One mean comment or being "left on read" feels like a physical punch. We call it cyberbullying, but to a teenager, it feels like an existential threat. It follows them into their bedroom; there’s no "safe space" anymore.
OLA:
So, as parents, are we just supposed to watch them drown in the scroll? My son won't even look up from his game to say "Good night."
BISOLA:
Not at all, Ola. There is a significant movement underway. I heard that Lagos State primary school counsellors are being specifically trained to identify bullying before it even starts. They are moving beyond "theory" to real, one-on-one listening.
JENNIFER:
That’s the "Stigma-Free" approach. We need to bring people with lived experience into schools to say, "I’ve been there, I felt the shame, and I survived." When organisations like the Writers Interactive Network (WIN) visit schools, they use stories and art to break the silence. They turn the "shame" of mental health into a "lesson" in resilience.
JIDE:
I like the idea of PTA meetings being used for this. Instead of just talking about school fees, parents should be getting resources on how to spot the "silent symptoms" - the headaches, the nausea, the sudden drop in grades - that mean a child is being bullied online.
NNE:
We have to teach Mindful Scrolling.
• Inspiration, Not Comparison: Follow accounts that uplift, not ones that make you feel "less than."
• Open Communication: If I can’t tell my mom I’m being bullied because she’ll "seize the phone," I’ll just keep suffering in silence. The phone isn't the enemy; the silence is.
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