TOPIC TODAY: Survival or Shame? In urban Nigeria, the line between Relationship and Transaction has disappeared. Financial distress is now the main negotiator of affection.​When did "Vibing" become a euphemism for "Paying the Bills"?​Is the "Soft Life" worth the psychological damage of trading intimacy for relevance?​The Hard Question: If a 15-year-old sees exploitation as the only way to "stay with the trend," who is to blame - the individual, the parents, or the ecosystem?

SCENE: Jide’s parlor. Jide puts his phone on the table.

​JIDE:

​I met a girl on social media few months back. Within minutes, we were on WhatsApp. Within the hour, the script started: “My rent is due,” “Everything is hard,” “I just need a helper.” Then followed the pet names—"Dear," "honey," "My husband," "My King" - all within few meetings. It wasn't a courtship; it was like a marketing or PR pitch.

​OLA (Drinking a cold malt):

​Jide, that’s the Lagos "Standard Operating Procedure." Men call it “helping,” girls call it "cruising," or “vibing,” and the internet calls it “Soft Life.” But let’s call it what it is: survival. In a city where rent is 1.5 million, and salary is 150k, the math doesn't add up without "intimacy tax."

​NNE:

​But it’s not just about the money, Ola. It’s the pressure to "have a man." Even if he’s seventy, geriatric, and you don't like his breath, having a "boyfriend" who takes you out lifestyle is seen as an achievement. Dignity doesn't post photos on Instagram; a trip to the beach, bars, or club does.

​ELDER EPHRAIM (Hands trembling slightly):

​What is most disturbing is the age. I hear of fifteen-year-olds - children! - being co-opted into this. They see their older sisters or friends doing it and they think intimacy is a tap you turn on to get what you want. We are raising a generation that doesn't know the difference between a hug and a transaction.

​JENNIFER:

​It’s a systemic failure, Elder. Look at our schools. Teachers demanding "sex for marks." Look at our politicians. It’s an ecosystem where emotional vulnerability is now the entry point for sexual expectation. We’ve turned affection into a commodity because the economy has made everything else - housing, paying back loan, education, food - unreachable.

​EOO (Staring out the window):

​The danger isn't the desire. The danger is how cheaply we’ve learned to use it. When you trade your body for rent, or mark or settling, you aren't just paying a landlord; you are selling the part of you that knows how to love. We are becoming a generation of "intimacy addicts" who don't actually like each other.

​JIDE:

​Exactly, Eoo. If sex, money, validation, and survival all speak the same language, how can we ever tell the truth? When a girl says “I love you,” she obvoously does not mean it, or is she just afraid of being evicted or dumped? When a man says “l love you too or I’m supporting you,” is he a hero or just a buyer?

​NNE:

​And the society laughs at boundaries. If you say "No," to being like others they call you "old-fashioned" or "suffer-head." If you say "Yes" for either  money, just being available as bedmate or a takeout, they call you "trendy," or "smart." We’ve glamorised the escape so much that we’ve forgotten we are in a trap.

​JENNIFER:

​This is a public emergency. It’s psychological damage waiting to explode. We are conditioning our minds to believe that our only "value" is what we can provide in the bedroom or as companion. That is a recipe for a broken society.

​ELDER EPHRAIM:

​We are building a house on sand. A culture that shames dignity and restraint but rewards exploitation cannot survive. We are losing the ability to be human.

​OLA (Quietly):

​So what do we do? Tell the girl not vibe or cruise to pay her rent? Tell the man not to be available? Not to "help"?

​JIDE:

​We start by calling it what it is. It’s not "vibing." It’s a crisis. We need to stop laughing at the "Sugar Daddy" jokes and start realizing that we are killing and eating our own future.